Memorialism, Guilt, and the Eucharist

Well, at least there is one thing that I can say for sure. The Sacramental life does not mean that posting regularly on your blog. If it does then I am afraid that I will never be able to achieve the sacramental life.

It's been a while so it is hard to remember what I had originally intended to write about next back when I started. But today I am thinking about the Eucharist.

Growing up we had communion regularly. I say regularly and I mean it. It was dutifully done once a month at every church I had ever attended. Now, it did get tricky because some churches would have it on the 1st Sunday of the month while others would have it on the 4th Sunday of the month or some other variation.

I remember one year when my family was on furlough. We were traveling to different supporting churches that supported us to share about the work God was doing in Southeast Asia. Somehow we ended up going to a church that had commuinon on the last Sunday of the month on the last Sunday of the month and then going to a church the next week that had communion on the first Sunday of the month.

For those of you struggling to figure out what that means, I'll make is simple. I ended up having communion two weeks in a row!!!

It was very strange. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. I almost felt like somehow we were cheating the system. Communion was that thing that you only do once a month.

Despite never understanding it, I had always enjoined communion. Maybe it was the simple fact that I was always hungry by the time church was over and on communion Sundays I got to have a snack mid service. Maybe it a was some intrinsic value that was present that I didn't even know. All I can be sure is that I remember my dad asking me, "Do you know why we do this?" when I was a little kid. I said, "yes" even though the truth was "no." But I really wanted to be a part of it!

Over the years my experience of communion moved away from childish enjoyment of mid-service snacking to a frustration. I didn't have words for the frustration for a long time. Now I recognize it was because I always felt guilty taking communion.

The number of sermons that I have heard on taking communion in "a manner unworthy" is unbelievable. Generally, the message I heard was "If you have sins you haven't confessed then you're taking it unworthily." So the solution to me was, pray hard that God will show me sins that I am committing so that I can confess them lest I be struck by spiritual lightning.

Then I came to a sacramental church. Experiencing Eucharist was different than communion I had experienced. I wasn't invited to feel guilty and eat in fear of condemnation. We'd already confessed our sins and received absolution earlier in the service. Instead, I was invited to feast on the Body and Blood of Christ in celebration of what He has done for me and the joy of what He has in store.

That made all the difference.

I now realize that every memorialist communion service does not rely heavily on guilt. I'm sure every one I attended as a kid didn't either. But now I have found so much more richness in the sacrament of Eucharist that it seems like a totally different thing.

Alelluia, Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us,
Therefore, let us keep the feast! Alleluia!