Wednesday, July 23, 2008

God's Love at the End of a Half Marathon

Before reading this post and if you aren't familiar with High Road, you must read the post immediately before this one: "The Long Run to Joy"

The year after I completed High Road and started at Wheaton College, I returned to the Northwoods to be a camp counselor and take classes. Like High Road, my summer at HoneyRock doing Summer Leadership School could be an entire blog of lessons in and of itself. During the summer there, I learned much about my relationship with God and others and myself.

The two most significant moments at HoneyRock (though there is also a close third) came through one man: Dr. Rich Butman. I was taking a class with him during the second session of the summer called "Community Leadership and Development." The first significant moment came through an hour and a half with Dr. Butman in a two man kayak. Since I talk about that time together a couple of times a week in my information sessions in the Admissions Office, I will not be elaborating on it here.

Instead, it is the second moment that this post is about. During Dr. Butman's class he required that we complete 2500 pages of reading, but he left it up to us to decide which books off of a list we would choose to read. (To this day, I found this classes reading assignments to be the most enjoyable in my life, despite having a larger number of pages to read than almost any other class.) 

One book I had decided to read was The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. I was a little skeptical because I have been over dosed on sermons about the Prodigal Son through out my life. But on the strong words of recommendation from many friends I decided to give it a go.

A third of the way through, I quit. It just wasn't doing it for me. I can't really remember why, but I remember not really knowing why then either. I just wasn't digging it. So I moved on to another book. When I had completed the next book, I decided to give the Prodigal Son a second chance. Picking up where I left off, I read what turned out to be an incredibly moving story of God's fatherly love for us, his children.

Again, I don't remember a ton of what it was that struck me from the book. What matters though is that it acted as the tilling of my heart to prepare for something more to come.

Towards the end of the class, we were sitting together discussing what God was doing through the books we had been reading. It became clear that God was teaching us all about His love. 

It must have been God's perfect timing because as we were discussing God's love, it so happened that right outside where we were sitting a group of High Roaders were completing their long run at the end of their arduous trip. Gathered just outside the not very sound proof walls was a crowd cheering and hollering for each one as they finished.

In a moment of divine wisdom, Dr. Butman told us to listen to those cheers. They were full of joy and delight. Then he said something that to this day echoes in my soul. "Those cheers are pictures of God's love for you. If you want to know how God feels about you, listen to those voices and cheers."

I'm sure the actual words he used were different, but the meaning was clear. I couldn't stand it. God feels that way about me? Delights in me with that sort of joy? Memories of my High Road group's faces and smiles burst into the foreground of my memory. The thrill and exuberance I felt was there. The sense of value and delight was there around me. 

I was crying and couldn't stop. I was embarrassed to cry in front of someone I respected so much, but I couldn't help it. God was breaking through on a new level into my soul. His love was better than I ever knew. 

More of that, Lord! More of that!

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