The group I was placed into was made up of a future school worship leader, an amazingly funny drummer, the most incredible guitar player I have ever met, an intramural champion, and a future ministry chair just to name a few. We all loved Jesus. We all were men who should have been good friends except one thing: we didn't know it.
In my group, division reared its ugly head fairly quickly. There was a group of guys who were athletic and cool. At least, that's how I perceived them. These guys were more stereotypically manly. On the other hand was the group of guys with little to no outdoor experience. These guys all had talents, but not ones that necessarily manifested themselves while trekking through the woods.
Sleeping arrangements were the easiest way to tell these divisions. In three tents, one was the "cool" tent and the other two were the rest of us. Whenever we mixed sleeping arrangements, that meant that some of us in the other two tents swapped with each other. The cool tent remained unaffected.
One of the guys in the cool tent seemed to perceive this position as a position of power. That is, he seemed to feel he could get away with things and no one would stop him. The most infamous of this behavior was the yogurt covered raisins.
While eating "brick," dehydrated vegetables, and sucking on 1950's candy, our one truly delicious food was yogurt covered raisins. Unfortunately, they were in short supply and always were the first to run out at any meal. Therefore, they had to be rationed.
This one guy, however, decided to take it upon himself to sneak a number of packets of yogurt covered raisins for himself (To be fair, he did share with his fellow tent mates). When we all found out, we were very mad. And yet, no one seemed to say or do anything.
Later, on getting back to Wheaton, we further discovered that he had appropriated a number of packets of Break Time (gatorade knock off). To be honest, BreakTime wasn't that good. But adding BreakTime to a nalgene full of smokey scum water made all the difference in the world. The whole reason we found out that he had the BreakTime was because he must have realized himself that it wasn't actually that good compared to the drink options available in "civilization." So he decided to offer them - oh so graciously! - to the rest of us.
I am ashamed to say that through all four years at Wheaton, I never could get over the anger I had about these actions. As a result, I never liked this guy. He always seemed arrogant and selfish to me. For sure, what he did on High Road was selfish, but there was more to him than that and I refused to see it for my entire college years.
Yogurt covered raisins now serve as a reminder to me of the incredible dangers of not dealing with conflict head on. It may seem like the nice thing to do at the time, but it really just creates long term side effects.
If we had addressed our issues directly, instead of trying to keep the peace, the trip would have been a genuinely deep experience in bonding and growing in relationships. Instead we settled for sub par relationships. Sadly, I only remained friends with one of the other guys on the trip and even that seemed to be God's work as He put us together again the next summer as counselors.
It would be unfair to expect myself to have handled the situations then like I would have now. I don't regret what happened (usually). Rather, I look back and see how it could have been different all the while also being incredibly thankful for how much I learned through it. High Road -- and even those unhealthy group dynamics -- taught me and changed me forever.
After hearing this story it sounds unbelievable, but I was actually one of the few guys I knew who said they would go on another High Road if they got the chance. Next time though, I'll make sure that we deal with any Yogurt Covered Raisin issues.
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